Try, try, try and try again

I have been trying different food types over and over for as long as I can remember, but I think I really started at about age 16 or so. I didn’t try much before then, as I am extremely self-conscious of myself when trying food and the resulting reaction (vomiting). I can’t even bear trying to think about trying food in front of people, even my family.

What I call my two successful eating attempts, salt & vinegar crisps and plain white bread, took many tries over a year or more. I don’t even remember how many times I put one of the above in my mouth and had to spew it out. Bread was the most frustrating to learn to eat, I can remember every time I managed to swallow it and for it to be brought back up by some bad sensation in my mouth. I found a way of helping me cope while trying something new but it came at a price, a personal cost. I've always felt I would do anything to be able to eat normally I still feel bad about it whenever I using it.