How SED has controlled my life

I can say with a great amount of certainty that SED has controlled my life. I know I would not be living in the city where I am and that I wouldn't be working in the job I am. That's not to say I hate my life, but it's to say I'm unhappy at how much I've left it effect it. I wish I could be like others who live a more "normal" life.

My goal is to be able to eat a basic enough meal(s) to be able to socialise with people and not having to constantly avoid people/events.

Explaining myself to others

It's amazing how often I find I have to explain why I'm not eating (something or anything at all) to others. Some people can quickly pick up on that I've never eaten anything in front of them. The trouble is that at a previous place I worked for I only ever at Nutrigrans in front of people and so some thought that's all I could eat. Although I can eat Nutrigrans, I've never become too fond of them so only use them as my "something" to eat in front of people.

I can understand it's difficult for people who don't have SED to understand but it's harder to explain.

Freaky Eaters series 2

I just got a chance to watch the first episode in Freaky Eaters series 2. I can't say I'm impressed. I was quite annoyed at their tactics. Most people with SED/eating problems will do anything they can to solve their problem, I know I need no motivation to change and would do anything to. The only thing I agreed with was that you have to keep trying, the only things I can eat comfortably now are things I've tried dozens or even hundreds of times. You can see parts of the show at youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugDIPg0-1k4&feature=user

Other people's stories 4

Adult Picky Eaters UK is a blog by Claire. If you haven't seen it, I defintely recommend you give it a read. http://adultpickyeatersuk.wordpress.com/

Meeting new people

I recently started a new job and already having decisions to make on what or how much to say about my eating. I try to ignore things relating to food but it's not easy and something I wish I didn't do as much.

The team I'm in is having a night out next week but I go out of it being new. It's not that I don't want to go out with them but considering it's going to be an evening of food and alcohol, two things I don't do well with, it's not nice. I said I didn't drink alcohol when asked a direct question so they said they'll have to organise a night out at the greyhounds. That's not really any easier for me, but I want to mix with them so am trying to see if I can explain my SED before then and hopefully go...

Relationships and SED

Relationships for many people with SED can be really difficult and challenging, be it with family, friends or others (girl/boyfriends, spouses/etc).

My family have been good in trying to help my eating problem, but for the most part they don't know what to do/how to handle it, something I can't blame them as its never easy. I've only ever told a few friends, I've always tended to keep it a secret to avoid being embarrestment and questions. I've avoided girls even more, especially around food as I'm natually shy and rejection is bad enough without the food problem. I'm starting to make an effort to tell people and not let it get in the way, but it's a lot more difficult than it sounds.

I've recently been reading on http://www.fussy-eaters.com/ (and seen on Freaky Eaters) people who don't hide their problem and have a lot more "normal" social lives. I wish its something I could be more open with, and I'm trying to, but its always difficult to raise the issue in the best possible way.

Letting people know

For most of my life I've always tried to hide my eating problem, as previously mentioned, due to people's reactions. In the last few years I've tried, when possible, to raise the issue and let people know about my eating but it's really difficult. It feels like I'm handing people a gun full with ammunition with which to shoot me!


Growing up I was sent to numerous doctors and psychologists to try help my problem. The last one I went to said that I would start eating or have to come to terms with it, which I believe is correct. I also thinking coming to terms with it is important in the process of overcoming it. I sometimes wonder if I enjoy having this "secret" and if I ate normally would I lose a defining part of who I am..

Other people's stories 3

Through searching for more information on Freaky Eaters I found out about SED, fussy eaters and several other sites. I came across an article written by a Times journalist about her fussy eating. Its an interesting read, http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/body_and_soul/article1394681.ece

Why people with SED suffer in silence

Most people with SED tend not to tell people about their condition/problem due to people's understanding. I go to great lengths to avoid people finding out, as I fear isolation and people's reactions. It's really hard to keep coming up with excuses, but that always seems to be a lot easier than explaining the problem to people properly.


You only need to look at shows like Freaky Eaters to see the language they use, to describe the show and the programmes I'm not sure if its a lack of understanding or a deliberate attempt but it can cause problems by labelling people without necessarily helping. Like many things there's big pros and cons to both telling and shows like Freaky Eaters.

Excuses to avoid embarssement

I came across Picky Eating Adults website's article on excuses to avoid embrassing yourself or eating something you know you can't. It made me laugh thinking about when I've used some of them myself, but it almost made me sad and angry. It's amazing (actually quite shocking) how many people have to suffer without getting help and have to use theses reasons/excuses daily.

Isolation

It's amazing how food can be a divisive and isolating thing. When you aren't able to eat, what most would consider, normal foods people then tend to think of you as strange or abnormal. People can give very different reactions, I've told very few people directly (many find out indirectly so don't know their immediate reactions). They usually fall into three categories:

1. They don't know what to do with the information and just don't say anything
2. They think you're strange or weird
3. They have had eating problems of their own and are fairly understanding

I've tended to speak most to two people who fell into the third category, my closet friend fell into the first and fortunately only a few people I didn't now fell into the second. I know it's difficult for people who have not experienced the problem to fully understand but I think for many people, myself included, our lives would have been a lot easier and we would probably be eating a greater variety of foods.

What's in a name

In previous posts I've tried to give a name to my eating problem, I've never had an "official" name for it, but then have never wanted more than a cure. Wikipedia has an article on SED (Selective Eating Disorder - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_eating_disorder). I'm not sure if I fit under it totally but then again I've not be able to successfully eat most things. I don't like the term fussy eater either but its more applicable than saying eating problem/disorder as that tends to link to other things (Anorexia and Bulimia).

Freaky Eaters series 2

I saw in a post on fussy-eaters.com that series 2 of Freaky Eaters is starting this week, it contains 9 programmes. Its website has more information, http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/programmes/freaky_eaters.

Fussy-eaters.com

I stumbled on http://www.fussy-eaters.com/ today while searching today, I was both very surprised and happy to find a forum with people with similar eating problems. Its been around for over a year now. I'm glad more and more information and discussion is taking place now on the internet.

Small achievements

Although I can now eat significant parts of food like bananas, apples, pasta w/t tomato sauce and other stuff I am still frustrated that I am still unable to eat a basic meal that I could eat outside of my flat.

The biggest problem for me is learning to cook. Even simple meals tend to require some sort of preparation, I have tried learning from books/internet/TV and the like but I don't even know most of the basics and it’s not like I even know what the end result should taste like! I've searched around for private cooking courses but I've had no luck, the closet I've found is in London but even then it tends to be for specifics rather than basics.

Phases

Its been a long while since I last posted on here, but I've not had anything new to say. I've gone through several "phases", meaning going through bursts of really wanting to try new food then not wanting to touch anything. These phases have always been, some are stronger (both in wanting to try and not wanting to) than others.

I know there are many types of problems, phobias, etc but I don't think a lot of people know how difficult it is for some people to just try something as simple as an apple or a bananna.