Attitude to other peoples' reactions

I have been amazed at how other people can seemingly not let their SED effect the life as much as it has mine. I have always hidden my eating problems away from people as much as possible. But seeing other people on Freaky Eaters or posting on websites about how they socialise and lead what appears to be closer to "normal" lives, amazes me.

After hiding my problem for so many years and being tired of stuck at home on my own I decided to start telling people about my problem. It's not been easy as there is not always a convenient time or place to properly explain things so I have had mixed reactions.

Chocolate and me

Following on from Claire's post about chocolate I thought I will explain the name of this blog. My main diet since I was around age 5 has been plain chocolate. Most days I eat nothing else, although about 9 years ago I started eating salt and vinegar pringles (crisps) after trying them for many months. Chocolate is different as I've not found anything to replace it, I eat about 400g a day and sometimes more. I don't eat anything else on a daily or even weekly basis, which is what I started this blog for, to help change that.

Try, try, try and try again 2

I've recently re-started trying salads, it has been made tougher as I've bought different types, one including red cabage which has a strongish taste and although red, it turns water blue. I can eat it on its own but will have to try it a few times to get used to it properly. I've been buying ready prepared mixed salads from the shops as although I can buy and prepare a salad, I just know the amount of times I have and will need to try, will just take too much time.

Thankfully I have managed to eat a whole portion of a mixed salad containing iceberg lettuce, carrot, cabbage and cos. I have eaten lettuce and carrot separately several times but the cabbage/cos was tricky and made me gag several times. Fortunately now I've got used to the textures and flavours and so was able to finish a portion.

I have lost count of the times I have tried the above but it just shows how it can take many times to try things and get used to it.

How SED has controlled my life

I can say with a great amount of certainty that SED has controlled my life. I know I would not be living in the city where I am and that I wouldn't be working in the job I am. That's not to say I hate my life, but it's to say I'm unhappy at how much I've left it effect it. I wish I could be like others who live a more "normal" life.

My goal is to be able to eat a basic enough meal(s) to be able to socialise with people and not having to constantly avoid people/events.

Explaining myself to others

It's amazing how often I find I have to explain why I'm not eating (something or anything at all) to others. Some people can quickly pick up on that I've never eaten anything in front of them. The trouble is that at a previous place I worked for I only ever at Nutrigrans in front of people and so some thought that's all I could eat. Although I can eat Nutrigrans, I've never become too fond of them so only use them as my "something" to eat in front of people.

I can understand it's difficult for people who don't have SED to understand but it's harder to explain.

Freaky Eaters series 2

I just got a chance to watch the first episode in Freaky Eaters series 2. I can't say I'm impressed. I was quite annoyed at their tactics. Most people with SED/eating problems will do anything they can to solve their problem, I know I need no motivation to change and would do anything to. The only thing I agreed with was that you have to keep trying, the only things I can eat comfortably now are things I've tried dozens or even hundreds of times. You can see parts of the show at youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugDIPg0-1k4&feature=user

Other people's stories 4

Adult Picky Eaters UK is a blog by Claire. If you haven't seen it, I defintely recommend you give it a read. http://adultpickyeatersuk.wordpress.com/

Meeting new people

I recently started a new job and already having decisions to make on what or how much to say about my eating. I try to ignore things relating to food but it's not easy and something I wish I didn't do as much.

The team I'm in is having a night out next week but I go out of it being new. It's not that I don't want to go out with them but considering it's going to be an evening of food and alcohol, two things I don't do well with, it's not nice. I said I didn't drink alcohol when asked a direct question so they said they'll have to organise a night out at the greyhounds. That's not really any easier for me, but I want to mix with them so am trying to see if I can explain my SED before then and hopefully go...

Relationships and SED

Relationships for many people with SED can be really difficult and challenging, be it with family, friends or others (girl/boyfriends, spouses/etc).

My family have been good in trying to help my eating problem, but for the most part they don't know what to do/how to handle it, something I can't blame them as its never easy. I've only ever told a few friends, I've always tended to keep it a secret to avoid being embarrestment and questions. I've avoided girls even more, especially around food as I'm natually shy and rejection is bad enough without the food problem. I'm starting to make an effort to tell people and not let it get in the way, but it's a lot more difficult than it sounds.

I've recently been reading on http://www.fussy-eaters.com/ (and seen on Freaky Eaters) people who don't hide their problem and have a lot more "normal" social lives. I wish its something I could be more open with, and I'm trying to, but its always difficult to raise the issue in the best possible way.

Letting people know

For most of my life I've always tried to hide my eating problem, as previously mentioned, due to people's reactions. In the last few years I've tried, when possible, to raise the issue and let people know about my eating but it's really difficult. It feels like I'm handing people a gun full with ammunition with which to shoot me!


Growing up I was sent to numerous doctors and psychologists to try help my problem. The last one I went to said that I would start eating or have to come to terms with it, which I believe is correct. I also thinking coming to terms with it is important in the process of overcoming it. I sometimes wonder if I enjoy having this "secret" and if I ate normally would I lose a defining part of who I am..